Consistency is one of the most common goals I work with in my coaching practice. I hear so often “I just can’t get myself to do it consistently” and “I used to be really good about this, but lately I’ve been so inconsistent”.

But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s easy. Consistency can be frustrating and confusing, and in my experience it’s one of the most misunderstood aspects of behavior change. That’s why I’m so excited to be writing a whole series on consistency. In the course of a few articles I will break down this topic from the inside out: what consistency really is, why most people are approaching it wrong, and practical mindset shifts and techniques to finally unlock consistency in your own life.

In this article, I want to start with the foundations: what is consistency really, and why does it feel so hard?

You’ll learn:

Let’s dive in!

Why we’re talking about consistency

If you’re reading this article, you probably have an idea of the benefits of consistency: faster progress, building momentum, and achieving more from compounding efforts over time. When it comes to wellness, consistency is particularly important because our long term health is a direct result of our cumulative actions over time. Sadly, we can’t work out once and be healthy forever.

At the same time, building consistent habits can feel incredibly challenging. Just when a routine starts to take root, an unexpected barrier comes up and throws you off track. We know it’s important, but what makes it so hard?

In my experience, a lot of the difficulty stems from inaccurate beliefs about what consistency is and what it feels like to achieve it.

If we want to get the benefits of consistency, we have to start by understanding what it really is, and isn’t.

Common misconceptions about consistency

The story many of my clients and I have heard about consistency is one of perfection, repetition, and discipline. When I think of consistency, I picture Taylor Swift writing songs every day before her big break, or Kobe Bryant practicing twice a day on his way to an NBA title.

While these stories are inspiring, they lack nuance and aren’t a realistic model for building sustainable, healthy routines. They rarely show how a sick day, a trip, or a competing priority gets handled. Plus, showing up consistently for something like school or work is of course different from keeping a health routine on top of those commitments.

Relying solely on these stories about what consistency is can create the common misconceptions I’ve seen over and over:

1. Consistency is perfection. These stories insinuate that the person executed perfectly – from the time they set their mind to it they never missed a day. It’s a nice idea, but nobody is perfect. By expecting perfection, we ironically get further away from true consistency by discouraging ourselves from continuing on when things don’t go just right.
2. Consistency means sticking to the same thing. The simplicity of the stories make it seem like these people did the same task every day. But this likely wasn’t the case, and isn’t realistic when approaching lifestyle change. Rarely will you find a specific workout or meal or mindfulness practice you want to do, unchanged, for the rest of your life. Expecting to be able to “stick” to the same thing is another way we set ourselves up for failure when we inevitably get bored or our circumstances change.
3. Consistency starts immediately. These stories insinuate that consistency starts from the beginning – like from the first time Kobe picked up a basketball he decided to do two-a-days. In reality, sustainable change requires an experimentation phase, and focusing too much on consistency early in the change process can get in the way of this critical step.
4. Consistency should always be your goal. Under the surface of these stories is a message that engaging in an activity without doing it consistently is a waste of time. However, not everything needs to be pursued consistently – fun, exploration, play, and experimentation are all valid reasons to do anything and consistency might actually be counter to these goals.
5. Consistency does not have consequences. The stories gloss over what these people had to sacrifice to achieve consistency. When we attempt to pursue consistency for something that is not meaningful enough to overcome the sacrifices we have to make, it won’t work.

By raising our awareness of these misconceptions, we can approach consistency more intelligently and set ourselves up for success.

What consistency really is

When we strip away perfectionism, rigidity, and unrealistic expectations, consistency starts to look very different than the version many of us were taught.

Here’s how I think about what consistency is:

Consistency is reliably acting in a way that aligns with your long term goal, regardless of imperfection.

The focus is repeatedly returning to a set of actions that are directionally aligned with where you want to go.

By transforming our idea of consistency from rigid perfectionism to flexible resilience, we reduce how much power one day, week, or month of “inconsistency” holds over our confidence and self-esteem. In turn, we reduce the natural resistance that can come up when trying to force ourselves into staying consistent, and open up the possibility for true sustainable change to occur.

In the next article, I’ll be writing about the first, and arguably most important step: picking the right consistency goal.